Have you ever experienced any of the following situations, or something similar to them?
Finding Your Best Friend (BFF)
You want to find a trustworthy and loyal friend you can count on — someone who, no matter how busy and complicated your daily routines are, will always find time to see you or to check on you.
One of your current friends might be a good candidate to be your BFF, but you realize that she only sees you as just one of her many friends. She really isn’t interested in becoming your close friend since she already has her own BFF who is on her list of top priorities. In fact, you saw them just the other day window shopping together, happily like a couple of teenagers.
Although you’re happy that they are such good friends and enjoy spending time together, you can’t help feeling sad because you haven’t found your BFF yet. You know it sounds rather childish, but you can’t shake the feeling that this friend is rejecting you.
Dating the Perfect Guy
You met someone that you really liked. The first few dates were great, and he behaved like “The Perfect Guy.”
In the beginning, he called you every day and would often send text messages just to check in or say hi. There was no question that he was definitely into you.
But suddenly, the magic seemed to disappear and he stopped calling…just like that! (WTF!?)
Your head begins to spin trying to figure out what happened; but no matter how much you try, you just can’t understand why he stopped showing interest. The only conclusion you reach is: “He must have found someone a lot better than me.”
A Brilliant Idea
You come up with a great idea only to have it immediately rejected by your partner, or your boss, or your co-workers, etc.
You were very excited about your fantastic idea but they would not even think about it!
You wished that they had at least, allowed you to discuss what you were thinking with them.
Posting on Facebook /Instagram
You post something really “cool” on Facebook or Instagram but almost no one – actually nobody – clicks “like”
You think: “What’s going on!? I have so many friends on Facebook, and nobody likes my post!?”
Again, you know it’s a little childish to feel sad over such a thing, but it hurts nevertheless.
When you think that you are being rejected, you can feel a sea of negative emotions (sadness, fear, anger, embarrassment, etcetera) and feel a big knot forming in your throat or, worse yet, sense an empty hole in your stomach.
You feel all of these things because someone is not validating and/or appreciating you like you so deeply desire.
You immediately start to think that:
- You’re not worth it
- You’re not good/intelligent/pretty, etc. enough
- You have bad luck
- You don’t deserve
- There is nothing special about you…
It’s common for you to start comparing yourself to others, and you think of ways in which you could change so that your friends, partner, boss, clients, will like and accept you as they should.
With such crippling thoughts in your head, it is natural for your body to respond negatively and for you to feel ill. But your body is only acting as an alarm system that is telling you that you need to make some changes.
What kinds of changes? What can you do?
Since it is almost impossible to change or control other people’s thoughts, actions and feelings, the only option left is to change YOURSELF!
When you find yourself feeling rejected by someone, instead of trying to guess what they are thinking, focus your attention on you and tell yourself:
“Sorry if I don’t meet your expectations…my priority is to meet my own.”
Become clear on what you want and then think of ways in which you can make it happen.
- If you want a best friend or a partner that treats you extremely well and appreciates you, then you must start by treating yourself well and appreciating yourself.
- If you have a great idea, share it only with people who are willing to listen to you.
- If you share something on Facebook and/or Instagram, do so for the simple joy it brings you, without worrying about whether or not others “like” your post.
Become your own BBF, your Perfect Partner and your Number #1 Fan.
Ensure that you make yourself and your feelings Priority #1!
When you learn to validate yourself and your ideas first, you abandon the bad habit of seeking approval from others; ironically when you do this, you begin attracting into your life people who also appreciate and validate YOU.
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
– Bernard Baruch
Do you care too much about others and always put your own needs at the bottom of your priorities?
I can help you change that! Contact me!